Surgery and Recovery

This past week, I was blessed with successful surgery.
Preparing for it did not feel like a blessing, but keeping my
focus on God's will for my body did help.
Now, as I recover, I count my blessings. I was blessed with family
at the hospital - I was blessed with nourishment, flowers, phone
calls and cards from family and friends.
I was blessed with a warm place to come home to in this very cold weather.

Counting our blessings - if that is all we do all day - we will have
a very good day :)

As my body heals, I thank God for the blessing of medical expertise.
I thank Him for all they know in order to help put our temples in
their best working order.

And, I thank Him for you - because if you read this - you are a
blessing in my life from Him - and I count you when I count my blessings.

Celebrating Life

I wonder when birthdays became something we celebrated.
Whoever came up with the idea?
Paying attention to the date someone was born - celebrating
when they first breathed life and counting the years of life that have passed!

If I knew, I would like to thank them. Big time!
My children threw a birthday party for me
and it was a highlight in my life. Seeing family and friends faces with smiles, being embraced with genuine hugs and scanning the room full of joyful people. I am honored to know these people - let alone be loved by them.
What a great celebration!

It is becoming difficult to try to wrap my mind around how it made me feel. I like the example of what Jimmy Stewart might have felt at the end of the movie "It's A Wonderful Life", as people left his home and he tried to grasp the love that was demonstrated. His face was shining with a brilliance - and I feel that mine is still aglow. Love can do that. It has the power to make your face brilliant in color and your smile larger than life.

There have been several times in my life that I have felt totally and completely loved - and it is a very good feeling. In fact, I think I will hold onto it. I do believe it will make me more of a loving person - it can't help but spill out - for I am filled to overflowing :)

God can do amazing things through human beings. I believe it was Him loving me all along - through His love demonstrated by a celebration of those He has put in my life.

What an amazing God we have - and what amazing people He lets me love back!

Tiramasu for Our Eyes

Oh, yes. Those beautiful pictures - faces, scenes, experiences, that become candy for our eyes. Enjoyment - tasting the richness of life. As I age, I should probably call them "tiramasu" for my eyes - for it is richer to my taste buds than candy :)

I recently wrote a short poem about one of them - and, yes, I am moving forward - as we all do - yet, I do remember with sweetness - the tiramasu eye moments like beach visits.

"I can still see him sitting with a beach chair for support,
his book propped on his lap
basking in the sun as the ocean waves crash
His glasses shield his eyes from the strong rays
as he reaches for his water.
He shoots a smile my way -
the smile twinkles like the water
sparkling bright and playfully.
I smile back and wiggle in my chair
the umbrella providing shade I enjoy.
Pompano, oh Pompano -
Your heart calls me home
to walk where we walked together
so many times
We shared so much of life together
under your sun and moon."

Tiramasu for our eyes -
Here is to Our Lord providing new memories for each of us -
new smiles along our journey -
May you be making tiramasu for another set of eyes today - especially as the Lord watches :)

Enjoy life!
Mary

Thoughts - WOW!

Wow! Can our thoughts take us places. Now, deciding on a short visit or a long camp out is what fills our days with either worry or peace, sorrow or joy. I choose joy!
When the ultrasound of my thyroid showed a "growth" and I realized that I have been having some pain in the area of this "growth" my thoughts ran everywhere.
Why did I not question the pain sooner? I ran to a massage therapist to alleviate the pain - thinking it was a muscle problem - and it turns out to be a growth.
Then, looking at the report today, to turn it into a thyroid specialist, I notice the word "sizeable" - okay - sizeable growth - so not small - in their eyes.
As I write this, I am waiting for a call. Praying that this specialist can fit me in soon - diagnose the treatment and begin.

In the meantime - my thoughts center around finding God's peace and joy today - no matter what the reports from a Doctor say or how soon I can be seen.
I sit down with the Bible - OH - how I love my Bible -
and, today I choose to sit with the Bible that belonged to David's parents - very well worn out - and, right next to it is a Bible I got this Christmas from my daughter.
Both are amazing - and both bring me comfort.
My daughter texts me some verses as I am sitting with these two Bibles - and I highlight these verses in each from Isaiah 43:
"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of
difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
Oh, how I receive these words and thank My Savior that He is in control.
And, notice, He says we will "go through" - not around - through.
Can we still smile while working "through"? Yes, with the right thoughts.
He has a plan for good - not to harm me or you - to prosper us.
Praise the Lord.
Enjoy today :)

Sensing His Presence

It has happened before - but each time, I am unsure of what to make of it.
A feeling comes over me - a feeling that everything is all right - and I immediately thank God for the feeling because it seems like my life was when David was present.

This morning, I simply put on instrumental Christmas music, walked over to my bowl of cereal and there it was - a feeling that David was with me again.
I close my eyes and pray - and I sense His presence. Immediately, tears form.

There is only light available for my closed eyes in a portion of the room - is it the Lord's light or David's? Since they are together, maybe it is both.
All I know is that this peace I receive - this "feeling" of everything being all right is different than my usual feelings.

Somehow, I believe I am normally pulled away from believing everything is all right - there is so much pain and suffering - so many people hurting - so many loved ones lost - so many without homes - so many without - without -
That, once in a while - when it happens - I want to believe that everything is all right - that God is taking care of those I love - and that He will take care of all those suffering - that He will make everything all right.

So, I rest and am grateful for His presence - I take a deep breath - I thank Him that He is a God who loves us and has a plan.

And, then, I receive - the peace that passes my understanding.
And, I try to keep my focus on Him - not on the suffering of this world -
but on Him - and the reality that He will make everything all right.
In fact, that is why He came into this world. To make everything all right.

I love you, Lord.

Applebee's

Applebee's was the most convenient restaurant near our new home in North Port, Florida. We would put in a full day of working on the home (or working on the golf course) and sit down for a pretty healthy meal.

And, for emotional reasons, I chose not to go near an Applebee's since May of 2008 - until tonight. I purposefully drove there to have dinner by myself and remember.
I spoke a few words to the seat across from me - there was no reply - but I smiled, because I knew him so well, I knew what his reply would be. I could hear him describe to the server his favorite way to have his steak cooked - "medium plus". Medium plus never disappointed him. I could picture him motioning with his hands when asking for blue cheese to be sprinkled on top of his salad. He was a great communicator.

It was not a great meal tonight - okay enough, but not great.
But, it was sensational in another way. I feel like I accomplished - or overcame - all my battles in letting go. I believe the meal represented me facing my memories - facing reality and stopping running.
So, I exited the restaurant smiling broadly - simply grateful for memories.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I received a wonderful text with a video of my granddaughter, Madison, reciting Scripture - and I then attended another grandchild - Trace's - class performance that included Scripture from his mouth and - as if that were not enough - as the day closed in, a third grandchild, Macy, read her devotional page for today's date to me!
WOW!

I do not know a sweeter sound than hearing the voices of grandchildren reciting Scripture - God's Word. I am sure David would agree.

Thank you, Lord. I celebrate stopping running and I celebrate God's gift of future generations enjoying His Truth.

May you sleep well tonight - and enjoy Our Lord's Word.

Close My Eyes

It is really that simple. When I close my eyes, I am able to be with David again.
I can easily imagine a sweet memory - can easily hear his voice - can easily feel that wonderful feeling - that comfortable feeling that His presence always initiated.
Yet, in the Bible, we are told that Jesus is always with us - and we do not have to close our eyes - even though we do need to sometimes block out the visible world to see into the spiritual world -
Maybe it is the same thing. With the visible world blocked out - with our eyes shut - we are in the invisible world - that is just as real and lasts a lot longer - the world that will last for eternity. I can only imagine!!

But, for tonight, I open my eyes and head over to a dance to celebrate the Christmas season. This was his favorite dance, with one of his favorite crowds and places to celebrate.
Though it could not possibly be the same without him - it can still be sweet.
I will remember him smiling at me as I dance on the floor with the girls - I will be able to visualize him by the table - talking and laughing with the men while holding a wine glass, waiting for a slow song.
And, tonight, the slow songs - well, they will be sweet memories as I close my eyes and am, once again, in his arms.
I think they call these types of evenings bittersweet -
and I am going to focus on the sweet.
I pray you have a blessed evening - however you are going to spend it.
By the way - it is a lot easier to stay home from wonderful things that David and I used to do together - and I am tempted to make a bowl of popcorn, put in a movie and veg.
But that would not be taking a step forward. And I really believe that when I take a step forward, he watches from heaven and says "Way to go girl". So, sometimes, I go so I can picture him smiling down at me.
That seems to beat out the popcorn :)