Change

Change is definitely a trigger word - there can be change for the good or ...
Many changes form us yet are out of our control. Especially because they involve others.
How many of us love doing things with people and situations that have become traditional? I think all. And, for a good reason - we enjoyed it last time, so we expect to enjoy it this time.
My life has changed more than I could have imagined when I was a teenager. My hopes and dreams centered around people, not career, though I did dream of becoming a teacher. My dreams usually revolved around my wishes - selfish goals that would make me feel like I had done something right - or what I thought I was good at. I am so grateful God is in control and not me - for my life has been so full and not at all what I would have imagined!

Well, as life changes - my response is usually, at first, a little taken aback - and I need to get grounded - find my footing.

It takes longer with a huge change - like someone very important to our lives being called to heaven - when every second of our lives feels different - Recently, a good friend from Kindergarten was called home. She was a light in this dark world - a wonderful, amazing woman of God I loved very much. Her children and grandchildren will have a huge void in their lives and I pray they will find firm footing on Christ - the solid rock. Nella is enjoying Our Lord's rewards and basking in unimaginable beauty right now. She showed Christ's love to all in her world and I am so grateful she knew Him and where she was going.

To smaller changes - like waking up today and not hearing Cozette chirp. I greet her each morning - yet she did not chirp back today. Cozette is a cockatiel that has outlived cocktatiel's life spans - she was over 20 and has been a sweet presence of God's creation and a small slice of life in the kitchen. The home is quieter - feels a little different - so, I immediately go to gratitude.

Thank You, Lord, for birds, dogs, cats, and all animals we humans can house as pets. Thank you for the life they bring into our everyday existence. Thank you for their love and the joy they bring to each day.

And, thank You for the capacity You give us to love. I am amazed at Your love through me to others and through others to me - I am so grateful and amazed!

I can only imagine what You have prepared for those who love You :))

New Focus

My last post was somehow kept in the "Draft" folder - and I apologize that it was not posted when I wrote it.

Today, I am focusing on my thought life - which directs my feelings.
I have heard that "feelings are not reality" -
Well, they sure "feel" real - yet I think I understand that saying better today.

When something happens and my "feelings" immediately react - especially with stress or sadness - or, worse yet, I often get the "feeling" that I am wrong - was wronged - was not enough - etc.
I am learning that these "feelings" may not be reality - it is possible the enemy wants me focusing on me - wrong me - or wronged me - not good enough me - or me that missed something.

I spent time with a friend and she described perfectly how it "feels" when you are betrayed. Somehow, we make it about ourselves instead of letting it stay with the person who betrayed - praying for them and letting it go.

Does this make sense? We can focus on "poor us" - we were betrayed - thus "feeling" awful. Instead, for her freedom, she now focuses with compassion on those that betray - prays for them - but lets their actions go to the cross - she does not make it about herself at all. In other words, she does not allow "down feelings" but is able to stand straight, chin up high, and believe she is beloved - as she is to Christ - who is faithful - she puts on the identity He gave her.

Today, I am spending time focusing on a God who created me and loves me - a God who loves me so much that He wants me to focus on Him - turn the garbage over to Him - and then bask in His love.

Wow - I want to enjoy the reality of those feelings :)))

May you, too, enjoy how much you are loved - you are more than enough - you are His Beloved! Don't let the enemy tell you anything else through a human :)

For Jesus' Glory, Mary

Being

God has given me time to reflect - I am in a wooded area in Wisconsin, yet it reminds me of The Cenacle in Wheaton.
For years, beginning when I was a very busy single Mom, I took an opportunity to reflect on my life at a retreat - sometimes for an afternoon, sometimes overnight - but I took time to be alone with God and my thoughts on my life. It may have been once every two years, but I remember reflecting on my life at the Cenacle. I remember the first time I attended a Saturday retreat and arrived early in the morning - only to fall asleep for several hours missing the "sessions" for the day. I was told by a friend that I must have needed the sleep that day.
These days, sleep is plentiful. I can go to bed whenever I want to and I have no children waking me up during the night - (I still think of those years as a "tender" season. Yes, I was tired - but I gladly gave up my sleep to nurse my children.)

So, not wanting to relax as I take time to reflect today, I look at God's glory in the trees and woods and strain to "hear" the quiet - there it is - swaying gently in the soft breeze. Peaceful, quiet and calming.
Now, my thoughts can quickly go to the pain in the news - the pain so many on earth are experiencing - so I gather my thoughts - give them to God with a prayer for His Mercy - and then trust Him to care for His beloved children wherever they are - and go back to just "being".

Before 1953, I was not created - and though I do not understand it, I was brought into this world through God's choice of parents, His choice of city and country, His choice of size of family, His choice of physical attributes, etc. - I was created to bring Him glory in a given set of circumstances. Thank You, Lord. Thank You for creating me - thank You for giving me life - and thank You for every day of my life - every breath I take - because I was created by You for Your purposes.

Forgive me, Lord, for those thoughts that may have been ungrateful - or even rebellious - toward Your choices for me on earth. May I come to know You more and more each day - teach others with my words and actions how much You love all of us - and grow more thankful each day - for every breath You so generously allow me to take.

For Jesus' Glory,
Mary

Fair or Servant

I spent a lot of time in my life trying to help others learn to be fair - to share - to be kind - because I thought I was teaching them to be like Jesus.
But, was I? Jesus was the ultimate servant.
Did I spend time teaching them to serve? To think of others' needs before their needs?
And, do I think of others' needs before thinking of mine?

As a server at the Olive Garden years ago, I remember the humility involved in serving at a restaurant, it is extremely humbling. But, how about serving in every day life? And, how do we teach it?

Waiting for others to go ahead of us in traffic - or in a line at a store - or opening a door for someone into a restaurant that has a list waiting to be seated? Can we allow others to be served before us - allowing them to have the last (of anything) and not getting emotional that there is none for us?

Losing sleep - when children are first born - is normal and I gladly serve newborns. But, as children grow, did I "try to make life fair" thus teaching them it is all about their satisfaction?
I remember focusing on being fair - like cutting a pizza in equal slices - so each of my children had the exact amount.
I think "being fair" is an important lesson, but could I have taught them a more important lesson - to "serve" - to let others have more pizza then they had at a meal?

If we teach children, and ourselves, how to serve - to let others have something instead of us having it, will we be learning, as the Bible calls it, to "Die to self"? Because if so, then we will win!

Christ promises - the least shall be the greatest - and it seems confusing - but I think that when we serve - He makes us great.

God bless you today!

Familiar Face

Her face was familiar. I did not think we had met before, but I remembered seeing her face. We were both in a line - well, there were two clerks waiting on people and we each chose a line - but neither of us knew if there was one line or two - so we kind of stood next to each other - forming a horizontal line - waiting for someone in the hotel to wait on us.

As the man approached her, I wondered if she knew him. Surely she did not. The conversation was pleasant - she was very kind - and he seemed to discuss something she understood. Her feet moved slightly - I noticed she had chosen cute shoes - too high for me to wear - but they worked for her. The conversation ended, he left but our line had not moved - and our eyes met - we began talking about why we were in line - keys that don't work, checking out, all pleasant.

Then, another woman approached her - thanking her for her words. She graciously accepted the thanks.
So, my curiosity peaked, I asked her - "Did you speak in this hotel?"
"Yes - just this morning - at a NAMI Conference."
"I am sorry - NAMI?" I asked.
"National Association for the Mentally Ill", she answered.
"I have had experience with mental illness in my family."
"I think most people have," I answered with a smile.
"That is what I was speaking about!" she exclaimed.
We smiled.

National Association for the Mentally Ill - I may need to look into that.
We chatted a few minutes longer and, finally, one line moved. I motioned for her to go first - she was there before I approached the area - and she graciously accepted.
Finally, the other line moved - I was taken care of and - just before leaving, I caught her attention, waved and smiled. She smiled and waved back and it felt good to say a prayer for her and her family.

The Lord knows that, in His sovereign plan, I have had some experience with mental illness - so I understand a little - and am curious about this organization.

And, still curious about her face - I looked up the conference in the hotel and the speaker that morning. Yes - I had seen her before - she has a famous name - but her face is unforgettable. Mariel Hemingway.
God bless her and her family and those involved in NAMI.
For Jesus' Glory, Mary

Gratitude vs. submission

It was a fun Sunday - perfect weather for playing in the sun - and my husband wanted help with fixing something. I patiently gave him 5 minutes - then another 5 - maybe even 10 - before I said "This does not feel good." "Why?" he asked. "Because it is Sunday and we have an opportunity to spend time with others - usually it is just us two and we can fix things all day long then." "Okay, thank you" he said, graciously accepting my defiance. I walked away - his project unfinished - and ready to jump in the water with visiting family - excited to spend a fun summer day. But, my spirit was not happy. I knew inside I was wrong, even though it felt good. He graciously changed into swim trunks and joined us.

I never said thank you. I never said it was all because of his kindness that I was near water - able to have family playing in the sun with us - I never focused on the fact that without fixing the things that were important to him, this day would not be possible. I had rebelled.

Asking forgiveness is pretty easy - and holy people easily give it - but learning not to do it again is the struggle. We can be so "right" in our thoughts - so sure we know what is best for us - so sure others are asking us something that is not appropriate or "right" at the time. God - forgive us.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts", says The Lord.

I want to teach my children and grandchildren how to be respectful to authority - not to rebel - but I have to learn it first. And, after this lesson, I do believe the secret is to always be thankful - thankful thoughts must be God's thoughts.

Have a thankful day!

Mary Story

He had trouble at work. It was a stressful day - so he would stop, close his office door and call me while I worked at my desk.
"Tell me a Mary Story?" he gracefully asked.
Or, on some days, it was more of a plea - "I need a Mary Story" he would gently announce.

"Oh", I would quickly reply - "Sure!" and I would sit back in my chair and give a current "story" - something that happened - usually from that day - that was fun to share. It always broke up his thoughts and he could return to the stress of his business, after our telephone call, laughing.
We enjoyed sharing stories - about our lives - our families - our work - and dating was fun - really fun - because we learned more and more about each other that convinced us we wanted to be together forever. David was the first "reader" of my story by asking for one - one at a time - time after time. He was the man God used to change my story - Big Time!

Our stories are not only His plan for us - they are our very life and breath - what we do each minute of the day that He can use for eternity.

This week, I was allowed to invite my children to Wisconsin to enjoy a lake house. The last time we did this as a family, I was a single Mom and they were very young - it did not go well. We stayed one night in a friend's fishing cabin. It was full of spiders and webs and it became a long, sleepless night - though I was grateful for the opportunity.

Though they could not all come, I was blessed with another opportunity - and I watched my children parent their children - and enjoy each other. At times, I watched from afar - watched their stories unfold - thanking God for these precious children of His - thanking Him for His faithfulness.

My story is all about the relationships God has brought into my life - and especially my relationship with Jesus - it always has been and always will be.
May Christ be glorified.