One Transformation

This past week, I have been blessed with beautiful celebrations of Our Lord's birth - through meals and time with family. As I focus on saying "Thank You" to God today, I wanted to share an old story.
It transformed my life.

I was singing praise music all the way to the shower. I expected a blessed time celebrating an upcoming wedding. I knew few people at this shower - well, I knew a lot by name, but did not have a relationship with them yet - and I approached - they all said hi - but there were no seats available.
I brought my gift up front and searched the room - AHA - a table in back with one woman at it I knew - and I excitedly sat down next to her.

She immediately told me that she sat in the back because she had to leave early - which meant that as the shower progressed, I would be sitting alone at this table for ten. My insides started to shake - sitting alone again. This had happened before. I excused myself as tears began to form and I ran to the ladies room. I sobbed - I did not cry, I sobbed. As quickly as possible, I ran to my car and the drive home was painful. By the time I arrived home, I had a migraine headache - so I lay on the bathroom floor with the door closed for darkness - light hurt - and after I vomited into the toilet, I cried out to the Lord "I don't ever want to feel like this again, Lord - HELP ME!!"

I lay in quiet with no thoughts except a pounding headache -
"OH, okay. You have no reply?" I smarted.
Quiet.

So, I decided to rephrase my plea.
"Lord, how can I avoid this feeling - should I never go to a shower alone again?"
The thought came to me - which is how He usually communicates with me.
"Why can't you go alone?"
"Because it hurts to sit alone, Lord!"
"I am always with you, Mary."
"Lord, are you telling me that I should be able to go sit at a table for 10 alone - for several hours - while all the other people in the room are laughing and talking with 9 others?"
Quiet.
"You are, aren't you! You want me to be anywhere and never feel like people don't like me?"
"I like you."
"Lord, I am grateful You do, but while on earth, we need people too!"
Quiet.

"You are enough - help me, Lord - I want to live knowing you are enough and having my emotions receive this - no matter how I am treated by people."

The headache left. I got up off the floor and have never been the same since - I am comfortable alone - anywhere - and the funny thing since - it seems like I keep getting invited to sit with others at a shower :)

For Jesus' Glory!!