I Saw Ben

Invited to join a friend at a golf outing, I stepped into my past world with David.
After all, his love for golf is what brought me into learning the game. His passion for this sport is what drove me to lessons and many years of a lot of fun watching a small ball travel in all kinds of directions.
But, it was not the sport or athletics involved that kept me interested in this game. It was the social side - spending a lot of time on a usually warm day enjoying God's green earth and beautifully manicured hills and valleys with others.
And, other golfers are always enjoyable. Even if you are having a bad day physically, somehow on the golf course, there were reasons to smile and laugh.
Now, yes, you could run into people who were miserable to be around, but even they never stole the joy golfing evoked.
Every time I get an opportunity to hold a golf club, I will find a reminder to be drawn back to David days.

As I walked into the pro shop today - searching for a visor - as locating mine at home had been fruitless - I quickly scanned the apparel and, at the same time, scanned behind the counter for an employee to help me - with a quick "do you have any women's visors?" leaving my mouth as my eyes met his. It was Ben.
Ben was one of the three pros at our golf course - Stonebridge will always be our golf course - as it was our backyard for the five final years of David's life on earth. Ben was one of the young men who knew and loved this sport - and always encouraged us with kind words and expert advice on our swings. Ben, Ryan and Kevin.
I can still see their faces in the line at the wake. I do not remember much about that evening, as I was in that blessed state of shock Our Lord allows when grieving. But, I do remember seeing the faces of these three young men - the golf pros from Stonebridge, as they came over to hug me. They evoked huge emotions - as I realized that evening that my life was forever changed at Stonebridge by seeing them.
Today, Ben and I shared another hug - the kind of hug of old friends - and he shared his new life with me - he is now married with a child and enjoying being a pro at a different golf course - and I was so grateful to see him - so grateful for this taste of Stonebridge after so many years.

It seems that Our God is big enough to be deliberate about every encounter we experience. Every day we run into people - mostly good people - but all are His people. Made in His image.
And, sometimes days later - or years later - we get a chance to see them again and develop relationships.
I believe each relationship has the possibility of being fruitful - each relationship has the possibility of evoking joy whether it is days or years in between meetings.
May God bless us to be people who bring joy and produce fruit in others lives -
"I have chosen you and appointed you to bear fruit - fruit that will last." John 15:16

Nov. 4, 1986 and 30 years later

It will be 30 years ago soon - I chose to leave a marriage that was painful for me and my children.
Without knowing how we would make it, I trusted God and His faithfulness to support us.
And, my trust was not misplaced.

When my ex-husband would rarely send child support, we struggled to survive and ate a lot of spaghetti with tomato sauce because it was cheap. I would purchase 4 small slivers of pork the Jewel sold for $2 and give one to each of the children for dinner. If my friends ever met for dinner out, I would order a salad and pray we would not split the check. And, once, I did humbly ask for assistance from the food pantry at church. Years of no new clothes - and saying no to some family fun because the cost of gas was too much for me that month - years of struggling financially - yet learning to trust that God provided and life was good.

He has provided through two new husbands that continue to amaze me with their love - and now - not needing anything - 30 years later - I am receiving child support checks!!
Yes - child support checks.
The government has located funds from social security - and redirected them to an old debt - from child support records - yes - he is made to pay off his debt to the children.
Since remarrying in 1995 to David, I have always divided any funds the government located by four and given them to my children - after all, they were meant to support them, not me.
So, today, 30 years later, I hear from the government again - and look forward to blessing my children - and they can now bless their children - with funds they should have had growing up.
God is faithful - and amazing.

I am on my knees today in gratitude to Him. He loves us so much. He is faithful - may He amaze you too!!

May 26, 1979

Walking behind my son and the nurse today, as she guided us to a room to discuss recovery from his recent knee surgery, I overheard her verify his name and birthday. As he said "May 26, 1979", I smiled and drifted back.
That was a great day1
I was waiting for my third child to be born and labor was starting. His due date was a week away, but I was ready. Sharing my body had become uncomfortable.
Once at the hospital, they said the baby was ready and they were preparing me for the delivery room, I was surprised. This labor did not seem as intense or as long as the other two.
As the Doctor was delivering the baby, his eyes opened wider and wider. He was a larger baby than he anticipated.
"9 pounds, 12 ounces" he repeated when he visited me in the recovery room. "I am so sorry - I had no idea." he repeated again and again.
"Sorry?" I questioned - I did not understand. Would he have done things differently if I was overdue instead of ahead of schedule?
He was my largest baby, and I decided his size meant he would be my healthiest. He would be a strong boy.
I remember laying him on my lap once I was in my room - and it did seem like he might have been crunched inside of the smallness of my womb. But he was healthy and calm. A very good baby.
Yes - drifting back - and thanking God -
It was a very good day!!