Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christmas Blessings

So many blessings :)
After a friend gave me a throw with David and Jesus' names on each corner, in order for me to wrap myself up in their love, I thought it was extremely thoughtful of her. Which, it was!
God continued to amaze me with thoughtfulness. Our children had a quilt made for me out of some of David's favorite shirts. I get to wrap myself up in memories of our great times together and bask under the material that often hugged his body. I feel so blessed! How thoughtful of our children :)
And, another God sighting!
As I tried to put Trace down for a nap, my eyes began to close. Naps are rare for me, but easy to fall into when a child sleeps in my arms. I realized as I heard the doorbell that Trace had decided not to fall asleep. Macy ran down the stairs and came back up to tell me some people wanted to see me. As I opened the door, I tried to open my eyes enough to recognize the four faces. They were saying something about “in honor or my husband’s tradition”. It came to me very slowly and I invited them in. I vaguely introduced them to my family as I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening. Then, it came to me - a wonderful blessing was being bestowed.
Good friends of ours, Don & Michelle, had challenged their children like David had. They had asked for them to donate to a worthy cause instead of purchasing Christmas gifts for them this year. So, Don & Michelle’s gifts were standing in my foyer. Their children, niece and grandchild all opened their hearts with stories of how they were blessing others financially this Christmas in order to keep David’s tradition alive. David’s legacy had become people blessing other people instead of thinking of themselves during the gift giving season – Christ’s birthday. I struggled emotionally to wrap my mind around this gift.
And, blessings continue ...
When Brian and Amy opened their gifts this Christmas, they found out their baby to be born in May will be Madison. This wonderful little girl will be born right near the first anniversary of David entering heaven. Rob & Erika are pregnant and due in July. God is bringing new life into David's family and we praise Him for His gift of life.
May you celebrate His blessings - For Jesus' Glory, Mary

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Eve of Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas! Happy Jesus Christ Birthday Celebration! Enjoy this wonderful season when we get to take time to remember our Savior's birth and His reason for coming to earth at all - because He loves us and wants us to join Him throughout eternity! Such a joyful time of year.

Memories - ways of celebrating - family traditions - is it more painful to remember? Like we could forget if we tried - who would want to forget such wonderful memories -if they are painful to remember, then we welcome the pain - welcome the remembrance of so much joy and love. Would it be easier to begin new traditions than to try to keep old ones with someone so important to them missing? David used to always say "both and instead of either or". So, I guess it is good to keep some traditions and good to begin some new ones :)

Reminders are everywhere - 17 years ago this month, he walked into the Village Hall with Christmas cookies and asked to talk to me. What a wonderful day that was! I remember asking the women who he was. They said, "That is David Bulthuis with Hillside Disposal - don't you know him?" "No, I said." Wow, was my life missing knowing someone great before that day!!

I saw ammonia today at Jewel - I used it once on his rash - we thought it was from sand ants - and it turned out to be shingles! The dermatologist gasped when we told her we were using ammonia on the rash! HA! We laughed and laughed. He didn't let me use too may home remedies on him after that episode.

Oh - wonderful memories - thank you Lord - reminders of such a wonderful man -
May this season be filled with memories for you of someone wonderful that you love and may you bask in the truth of that love.

Blessings to you and yours, Mary

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Let's see

Well, a beautiful covering of white - watching it fall and blanket the landscape with a clean, fresh, soft look - heartwarming from inside a home or business, but chilly to experience without protection - or covering.
In Ezekiel, God promises to "Bind up the injured and strengthen the weak". I'm definitely feeling that today. He has taken me shopping and I've accomplished all I want to in order to celebrate His birthday this year. Something huge has changed in me - something I've worked on with David for years, but, now that he is in heaven, it changed without a lot of work. That is, I am able to accept myself and what I do accomplish. That whatever it is, it is enough. I used to spend time evaluating myself - way too much time. Evaluating if I accomplished enough or did things right or explained things well, etc. Enough - praise the Lord.
I think I'm free. David would like that. He was free - and showed me how to enjoy life without a lot of evaluating.
I think it is easier to live this way :)
Have a blessed snow-globe kind of day.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Flesh day ...

December 8, 2008

What a difference - high and low - and everything in between. Our feelings are certainly interesting, aren't they? Living in these bodies God gave us can be entertaining - from goose bumps of joy and the excitement in watching God work (and thanking God for all He is doing) to cries of anguish as the flesh cries out with a longing to be with David -
Scripture tells us to "take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ" - so the sobbing stops and I remind myself that God loves David - and God loves me just as much -
And during this slight interruption in our relationship, there can be joy in each moment. I just have to take the "longing" thoughts captive to God's promises.
And then, there's these thoughts I've experienced like "Okay - I've done this now - lived without David - let's get back to my real life" - like this is not reality. Which I realize it is, but it often doesn't seem real. Have you ever gone through a day "watching" your life - it feels like you are an observer instead of a participant? That happens, often, also, with thoughts of "did all this really happen and is this my life?"
Okay - let's remember - "I am going to prepare a place for you. When it is ready, I will take you to be with me." So, David's place was ready before I was ready for him to go to it, but it wasn't ready one minute early in God's timing. God's timing is and always will be, perfect.
And, "My grace is sufficient" - Okay, Lord - give me more grace today - I'm asking - "Ask and you will receive" I trust His grace is sufficient for you, today, also :)
Love, Mary

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Thoughts for Wednesday

Beginning to blog on this site - well, let's begin with Hope - the beginning of the Advent Season begins with a candle representing Hope. Hope - such a beautiful word.
The definition, in my dictionary, is "trust, reliance" and "desire accompanied by fulfillment".
Our hope is in Christ - I trust that He loves me - I rely on His presence to get me through the day. Without hope in Christ, I would hourly - no minutely (if that is a word) - fall down.
We celebrated David's life last weekend and had a wonderful evening. It is easy for me to speak about him and I celebrate what a gift he was to my life (and to other's lives) - and continues to be. My "love bank" in my heart is full and will always be - overflowing with all the love he deposited over the years.
When he was first diagnosed, he mentioned that I shouldn't purchase any expensive Christmas gifts, because if the chemo didn't work, he may not make it to Christmas. That memory takes away my desire to shop at all this year.
Here's where hope comes in - I can take that memory to Christ - trust that He can give David much more than I ever could - rely on Him to give to everyone I need to buy for - and let it go! My desire is accompanied by fulfillment through Christ - not having to depend on Mary. WHEW! What a relief :)
My hope, my trust, my reliance, is in Christ, not in myself. He is my strong tower.
May you enjoy the hope He offers us!
Much love,