Thursday, December 27, 2012

Thoughts - WOW!

Wow! Can our thoughts take us places. Now, deciding on a short visit or a long camp out is what fills our days with either worry or peace, sorrow or joy. I choose joy!
When the ultrasound of my thyroid showed a "growth" and I realized that I have been having some pain in the area of this "growth" my thoughts ran everywhere.
Why did I not question the pain sooner? I ran to a massage therapist to alleviate the pain - thinking it was a muscle problem - and it turns out to be a growth.
Then, looking at the report today, to turn it into a thyroid specialist, I notice the word "sizeable" - okay - sizeable growth - so not small - in their eyes.
As I write this, I am waiting for a call. Praying that this specialist can fit me in soon - diagnose the treatment and begin.

In the meantime - my thoughts center around finding God's peace and joy today - no matter what the reports from a Doctor say or how soon I can be seen.
I sit down with the Bible - OH - how I love my Bible -
and, today I choose to sit with the Bible that belonged to David's parents - very well worn out - and, right next to it is a Bible I got this Christmas from my daughter.
Both are amazing - and both bring me comfort.
My daughter texts me some verses as I am sitting with these two Bibles - and I highlight these verses in each from Isaiah 43:
"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of
difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."
Oh, how I receive these words and thank My Savior that He is in control.
And, notice, He says we will "go through" - not around - through.
Can we still smile while working "through"? Yes, with the right thoughts.
He has a plan for good - not to harm me or you - to prosper us.
Praise the Lord.
Enjoy today :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Sensing His Presence

It has happened before - but each time, I am unsure of what to make of it.
A feeling comes over me - a feeling that everything is all right - and I immediately thank God for the feeling because it seems like my life was when David was present.

This morning, I simply put on instrumental Christmas music, walked over to my bowl of cereal and there it was - a feeling that David was with me again.
I close my eyes and pray - and I sense His presence. Immediately, tears form.

There is only light available for my closed eyes in a portion of the room - is it the Lord's light or David's? Since they are together, maybe it is both.
All I know is that this peace I receive - this "feeling" of everything being all right is different than my usual feelings.

Somehow, I believe I am normally pulled away from believing everything is all right - there is so much pain and suffering - so many people hurting - so many loved ones lost - so many without homes - so many without - without -
That, once in a while - when it happens - I want to believe that everything is all right - that God is taking care of those I love - and that He will take care of all those suffering - that He will make everything all right.

So, I rest and am grateful for His presence - I take a deep breath - I thank Him that He is a God who loves us and has a plan.

And, then, I receive - the peace that passes my understanding.
And, I try to keep my focus on Him - not on the suffering of this world -
but on Him - and the reality that He will make everything all right.
In fact, that is why He came into this world. To make everything all right.

I love you, Lord.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


Applebee's was the most convenient restaurant near our new home in North Port, Florida. We would put in a full day of working on the home (or working on the golf course) and sit down for a pretty healthy meal.

And, for emotional reasons, I chose not to go near an Applebee's since May of 2008 - until tonight. I purposefully drove there to have dinner by myself and remember.
I spoke a few words to the seat across from me - there was no reply - but I smiled, because I knew him so well, I knew what his reply would be. I could hear him describe to the server his favorite way to have his steak cooked - "medium plus". Medium plus never disappointed him. I could picture him motioning with his hands when asking for blue cheese to be sprinkled on top of his salad. He was a great communicator.

It was not a great meal tonight - okay enough, but not great.
But, it was sensational in another way. I feel like I accomplished - or overcame - all my battles in letting go. I believe the meal represented me facing my memories - facing reality and stopping running.
So, I exited the restaurant smiling broadly - simply grateful for memories.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I received a wonderful text with a video of my granddaughter, Madison, reciting Scripture - and I then attended another grandchild - Trace's - class performance that included Scripture from his mouth and - as if that were not enough - as the day closed in, a third grandchild, Macy, read her devotional page for today's date to me!

I do not know a sweeter sound than hearing the voices of grandchildren reciting Scripture - God's Word. I am sure David would agree.

Thank you, Lord. I celebrate stopping running and I celebrate God's gift of future generations enjoying His Truth.

May you sleep well tonight - and enjoy Our Lord's Word.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Close My Eyes

It is really that simple. When I close my eyes, I am able to be with David again.
I can easily imagine a sweet memory - can easily hear his voice - can easily feel that wonderful feeling - that comfortable feeling that His presence always initiated.
Yet, in the Bible, we are told that Jesus is always with us - and we do not have to close our eyes - even though we do need to sometimes block out the visible world to see into the spiritual world -
Maybe it is the same thing. With the visible world blocked out - with our eyes shut - we are in the invisible world - that is just as real and lasts a lot longer - the world that will last for eternity. I can only imagine!!

But, for tonight, I open my eyes and head over to a dance to celebrate the Christmas season. This was his favorite dance, with one of his favorite crowds and places to celebrate.
Though it could not possibly be the same without him - it can still be sweet.
I will remember him smiling at me as I dance on the floor with the girls - I will be able to visualize him by the table - talking and laughing with the men while holding a wine glass, waiting for a slow song.
And, tonight, the slow songs - well, they will be sweet memories as I close my eyes and am, once again, in his arms.
I think they call these types of evenings bittersweet -
and I am going to focus on the sweet.
I pray you have a blessed evening - however you are going to spend it.
By the way - it is a lot easier to stay home from wonderful things that David and I used to do together - and I am tempted to make a bowl of popcorn, put in a movie and veg.
But that would not be taking a step forward. And I really believe that when I take a step forward, he watches from heaven and says "Way to go girl". So, sometimes, I go so I can picture him smiling down at me.
That seems to beat out the popcorn :)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Words Worth Saying

Words have power. We have seen people stand taller, smile broader and even enjoy life a little more - thanks to something that has come off of our lips and into their heart.
The spoken word - the power of the tongue.
It reminds me of Deuteronomy - a book in the Bible that mentions "This day, heaven and earth stand before you as witnesses. I have set before you blessings and curses, life and death. Now choose life - so you and your descendants may live, love the Lord your God and hold fast to His commands."
It is a choice - probably a thousand times a day - a choice of what will come out of our mouths. Life or death. And, God recommends we choose life.
So, this day - November 16, 2012, may God bless each of us with life giving words - no matter who you are speaking to - may your tongue release joy into their hearts - a song to sing - or simply an acknowledgement that they matter - which helps others stand taller :)
God has given us a choice - I choose life!
Enjoy today.

Friday, October 26, 2012

A Normal Day

It started out as a normal December day - very chilly outside as I dropped the children off to school and arrived at work. Accomplishing many tasks, mid-morning I went downstairs for a cup of coffee. Standing over the coffee pot, chatting with my fellow workers, one of them brought cookies back by the coffee pot from a businessman in town and mentioned he wanted to speak to me. I asked who it was and did not recognize the name, so she mentioned the business. It was pretty usual for people running a business in town to want to speak to me, in order for me to speak to the Mayor for them. Just a normal December day. The cookies were a plus - my favorites from Raymondi's Bakery - especially the ones with colored sprinkles :)

I approached the counter, introducing myself as we shook hands. He spoke for a while - some personal information and mentioning he had heard of me through Carol at Public Works. I do love Carol - we started with that in common. Nothing touched too much on business, so after he left, I went upstairs to my desk and wondered. Was there more he wanted to discuss but the counter was not the place?

So, I called the business and asked for him. We spoke for quite a while and I learned that we were fighting similar battles as single parents. I was grateful he had reached out and recommended several books that had helped me.

It did not seem too unusual - and began on a normal December day - but it was my introduction to the man that the Lord would use to drastically change my life.
I am eternally grateful for normal days.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Trying to get in - great!

It started Sunday - when opening the garage door after church.
I was greeted by a huge black spider sitting on top of a pillow. Finding my handy spray insect eliminator, I sprayed this huge invader and he simply walked away. UUGGGHHH!
Two hours later, I saw another one on the other side of the garage - UUGGHHH! I broke my broom trying to shoe that one out of the garage.
So, I called my pest management team. They had sprayed a week ago - what was happening?
They could come on Thursday at 10. Great!
Thursday at 8:30 - just pulled into the garage from a work out - and another one on a floor - UUGGHHH! I froze in my car.
What is it about these spiders? I can take care of little ones, but this critter is huge. So, I do what any brave woman would do - I called the exterminator and asked him to come an hour earlier. I could sit in my car till then. He couldn't.
So, I called neighbors. Two darling women came over in minutes - I hoped one of them did not share my uneasiness with these critters.
I moved the ladder in front of it, Pam slammed a piece of cardboard on it and did a dance. She called it a spider dance! It worked.
So, at 10, Chad, the exterminator, was kind enough to throw out the cardboard and identified the critter - a wolf spider - even he was surprised at the size - wondered why it was so large in this area. Could it be all the corn fields in Aurora??
Chad sprayed my basement again - and crawl space - but did not see any webs.
He said they were probably trying to get inside for the warmth - not coming from inside out to my garage.
Trying to get in - not out - that was good news.
Now, I hope the rest can find shelter underground somewhere down the block - and that they stop trying to become my house guests!

Monday, October 8, 2012

18 years ago and today

Yes, it was 18 years ago today - October 8, 1994 - that I took a walk with Erin and cried - telling her how I had to break up with David that evening.
And, all the while, he had purchased a ring and asked her and my other children for permission to marry me. How difficult it must have been for her to watch me cry knowing the joy that the day would bring.

Life can be funny. We can spend a lot of tears on something that is not real.
Our emotions can control a minute, an hour or a day - depending on how long we
"camp" with them.
I started out that day in sadness - and had trouble falling asleep that evening due to overwhelming joy.

So, what does today hold for each of us?
I have a plan. Instead of starting out with sadness, I choose to start out the day with an expectant heart! I do believe that Our Lord has joy planned for me today - in fact, He is probably speaking to someone on my behalf right now - and I may have trouble falling asleep tonight due to overwhelming joy!

And, to all those with overwhelming circumstances that do not yet see a ray of light - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
We really do not understand how much He loves us and the plans He has for us.

With an expectant heart - God bless you with Joy today.

For Jesus' Glory,

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Feeling Normal!!

Wow! Can a little bug really affect our bodies. Thinking I had a head cold, I decided to cancel some appointments - good call - only to come down with a fever.
Now, if you have not had one lately - I do not recommend it. Besides your head feeling like it is moving without your help, everything from tile floor to sheets becomes freezing! Trying to consume fluids - keeping cold compresses on your head - the remedies help, but until you experience that wonderful sweat that means it has broken - it is a "trip" as they would say in the 60's :)
And, then comes the morning! Glorious! Very weak, yet thrilled to not experience the freezing tile, I walk gingerly - testing the waters. My head is back to normal - oh - this feels good.
So, I wonder - do we really ever appreciate these tremendous bodies? I think I take mine for granted sometimes. Waking up and moving about normally - what a blessing!
I appreciate the little things this morning - desiring a bowl of cereal - doing laundry - actually, any movement that allows me to go from point A to point B without dizziness!
So, I thank God for my "earthly tent" that houses my spirit - and the way He designed it to carry me about my day.
May you enjoy your body today - the complexity of such a gift amazes me and I am so grateful for the design!

Thursday, September 13, 2012


Friends! Painting the laundry room - yes - a beautiful shade of "sandy beach" so I can do laundry while near the ocean :) - my mind keeps focusing on one thing: Going back on this site to apologize - my conscience requires it!
Words are amazing - they can do so much good - and yet, can also be confusing.
So, just to be sure I am writing correctly, I am grateful that I now know laws
of cell phones in construction areas.
In fact, it has been a long time coming for me to take using my cell phone while
driving seriously.
Think about it - if I am on the phone, I am not giving my full attention to either
the phone call or to my driving - two very important things - because they involve others. I truly desire to give my full attention to anyone I am on the phone with and I really want to give my full attention to other drivers - or pedestrians - because I would want the same from them while operating a huge vehicle!
So, there it is - joking about it may have been a little "over the top" and if so, I apologize. I do want to enjoy life and I love to joke -
but, driving is serious business.
Love you!

Monday, September 10, 2012

$.75 or $120?

It started by having my credit card statement say "$40 for Replenishing I-Pass" way too often. So, I called the I-Pass office and found out that every time I go onto I-88 or 355, the minimum - yes minimum cost is $.75 or $1.50 for a round trip to Villa Park, Lombard, Lisle or Elmhurst from Aurora. I thought we were still paying $.40 each way - or a total of $.80 for a round trip.
Now, I have often believed that if we take care of the pennies, God will take care of the dollars and I am accountable to Him for how I spend what He has entrusted to me. I have truly believed it all belongs to Him - and try to spend accordingly.
So, I decided to take Ogden, Butterfield or Roosevelt Road lately - avoiding the costly expressways. Yes, it takes a little more time - but I decided it was worth it.
Until today.
Coming out of a restaurant on Butterfield Road, just west of Naperville Road - where the longest construction project ever is still taking place - I passed Naperville Road (avoiding taking the expressway home - HA - saved $.75) and, as I continued west on Butterfield Road, noticed a police officer looking at me. I checked my speed and was happy to see that I was going the limit, so I continued on - talking to my brother on my cell phone. It was rare that I did not plug in my hands free cord to speak while driving - but knowing I was not in Chicago, I thought I was okay.
When I saw the lights - I knew I was caught - but not sure for what. He instructed me that talking on the cell phone in construction or school zones was illegal - OUCH!
He said I could use my cord attached to my phone - and thus be on it - anytime - anywhere - even around the airports in Chicago - as long as my hands were free.
And, the ticket issued for $120 not only taught me a lesson on the rules I was not aware of - it also made me long for the expressway :)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Do Trees Remember?

It has become holy ground to me.
As I look at the worn down pavement which has long lost its black color and the great expanse of a rich green grassy field, I see myself in many memories.

It was here that I first skipped as my toddlers tried to walk to the huge swirly slide now replaced with a sturdier, smaller one. It was here that I sat outside and listened to concerts in the warm August air as the children giggled to the music. It was here that I spent more hours than I could count playing baseball with them - first teaching them to hold a bat and later years celebrating a good game, all the while laughing as the dust and green stains covered our bodies. I can still see the team pictures being taken near the scoreboard - each year the children changing in their height next to their coach. The concession stand became a favorite stop on a summer evening with nachos and licorice. On many nights, working the stand helped me treat the children to special portions ;)

It was here that I walked around and around in a square - I think 3/4 of a mile in all on the exterior proximity, first pushing my babies in strollers, then running alongside the back of their bikes as they learned to ride a two wheeler. One segment of the pavement was nicknamed for its dangerous drop - the "screaming eagle" - yet it is simply a small decline to the adult eye. And, this pavement on Halloween - oh, such special costumes have walked here - carrying bags of treasured treats.

When I became a single Mom, I would walk around this exterior twice - taking time to clear my head and think. This pavement has witnessed many tears of failure - but just as many light bulb moments of revealed hope.
This 3/4 mile jaunt also became a favorite area to stroll on a Sunday afternoon when a new friend, David, began to date me. It was walking this pavement that really allowed us to get to know each other, as we shared some of our past experiences and future hopes.
And, it was here that I met and kept some of my most cherished friends - precious gifts from God - who shared - and continue to share - many seasons of my life.

I remember the Veteran's Memorial being built here - it became a sweet tribute to the great sacrifice of so many. The many memorial services held here, along with the parades that trumped past it, always reminded me of the celebration of life and the precious gift it is, which can fly by so quickly.

As I look toward the magnificent trees bordering this slice of land - as I gaze at their expanse, I wonder - do they remember?
They have seen me here before - many times.
I remember. I want to hug them for they witnessed it all here - on this holy ground.

Enjoy today and the holy ground you walk. Love you.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Bean Bag League??

Well, I have been living in this community since October, so I decided to sign up for something. It is a very active community with plenty of activities listed in the club house. I have tried a Bible Study and enjoyed that, but wanted to participate in an activity - like sporting - of some kind.
So, I saw an advertisement for "Saturday - Bean Bags" - and signed up. I have played the game with my children and can pitch it pretty close to the intended hole in the board :)

Yesterday, I received a notice to pick up my schedule - schedule?? Yes, schedule. I did not sign up for a day of bean bag tossing - I signed up for a league!
So, for the next six Saturdays, early in the morning, I will be tossing bean bags alongside others - 15 teams in all, so 30 of us - and hoping to pitch some of them in the correct direction - hopefully even falling into the hole in the board.
We will see if any of them make it.
I think I need to read a little further when signing my name to lists :)
Have a blessed day.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

God's Protection

As I took a walk to the post office, I listened to my music on my i-phone. It really came in handy when a little dog was upset that I was in his neighborhood. I simply played my "hallelujah chorus" while passing him. I carry it in a traveling pouch that hangs on my neck and use earphones.
I prefer to walk with friends down residential streets, but when walking alone, I often choose the busier streets and enjoy music. Today I was really glad I did.
Toward the end of my walk, I noticed a young man heading my way. He was not dressed for a walk and I noticed something swinging on his pants - either a small chain or rope.
As he neared me, he lifted the neck of his shirt to cover his nose and mouth and mumbled something. I took off my ear phones and said, "Pardon me?" He replied with "Do you know if there is a car dealership near here?"
Now, at times, when a stranger is lost, I have used my "around me" application on my i-phone to give them directions. But, that thought never entered my mind.
I simply said "Keep walking and you will see a Tuffy at the stop light. They work on cars and may be able to help you."
He mumbled something I could not understand and I quickly resumed my walk - even quicker - and made sure I kept seeing cars approaching on the street I was near.
God is so good.
Sometimes He protects us by not letting us get too helpful with strangers - especially if they have a need to hide their face when they speak to us.
Thank you Lord, for your constant protection.
Have a blessed day.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Roller Skating

Walking in the door of a little public restroom, my mind swirls. 45 years ago, I would skate into this restroom and all I had on my mind was who might ask me to skate. You see, I would have been on roller skates in this hallway of the grammar school gym - a gym used on Friday nights for students to have fun and fellowship. And we did. But, the feelings of wanting someone special in my heart to ask me to skate - and waiting for his acceptance - hoping I "caught his eye" - oh, it started back then.

And now, entering the gym another flood of memories! I remembered all the chairs lined up as we performed at the "music festival" at the end of each school year. My memory is patchy, but some of the feelings are still strong. Did my parents see me in the sea of students? Oh, I desired to be noticed.

45 years later, I wonder how much I have changed. Don't I still want to be noticed?

This "acceptance" or "need for attention" may be huge in some of us - I know it is in me. According to the Bible, we are accepted - and are constantly in the loving thoughts of the Creator of the Universe. And, have always been. I didn't know that then. I know that now.

So, as I reminisce over the past, I look forward to the future. I hope to remember how accepted I am - how important I am - in God's eyes. And, I always want to use my eyes for Him, so others can know that they are accepted and important, too.

Even when they are on roller skates :)

Saturday, June 30, 2012


What is "who you are" filtered through? Are you someone who knows their identity - no matter what happens? Or, are your thoughts about "who you are" filtered through the opinions of others and relationships?
I have been experiencing a different kind of week - of course, all life is full of change. But some weeks seem more "full of change" than others. This week involved relationship mending and laughter, as well as relationship struggles and tears.
It is a battle to keep my mind focused on this:
My purpose is to glorify God each day - bring Him honor. Not myself or others.
It is that easy.
So, the question at the end of each day is pretty simple - "Did I honor God?"
If not, what can I change? Or, what can I do differently, so tomorrow will honor Him?
May the Lord remove your filters - and may your thoughts identify you as His child - a beloved creature - full of purpose - honoring Him - each day.
For Jesus' Glory!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

We Are All Students

I believe we are all students. We are all learning each day.
We may be learning something about a job, activity, our relationships, or some form of actual studies, but we are all students.

Now, it has taken me a long time to decide what to study. Did you realize you can choose? You can learn - have a teachable spirit, or you can shut down the lesson.
I see children shut down the lesson when they rebel - they don't want to learn how to do things their parents way - they want to believe they already know the right way.
Now, as parents gently prod them into lessons - choices and consequences - I see myself.
God is prodding me toward a lesson.
Am I learning it - or fighting it? Is it a temporary lesson or is He giving me a lesson that will change my life?

Recently, a son-in-law asked me if I was still studying the piano. Now, I love piano music - love it. But, I have not committed to take the time to really learn how to play. I also love other languages, yet have not disciplined myself on taken the time to really learn. The same goes for Bridge - a card game that takes a lot of knowledge.
I go from activity to activity - deciding where to spend my time - and then deal with the consequences. I don't really accomplish anything - or become accomplished in anything - unless I give it time.

The big question is - what will I give time toward? What will I learn?
We go back to children - choices and consequences.
Do I want to really learn something, or just have my own way - being happy to just dabble in it?
And, why do I start learning and not become accomplished?
I have some unfinished projects in my closet - shouldn't I finish them before becoming a student of something else? I wonder if there is a psychological reason people begin projects and don't finish them - hmmm.

Well, I am comfortable with only knowing a little about another language, piano and Bridge. But, I am questioning why I stopped learning about golf.
Now, there is something I want to spend time on - something I want to accomplish!
And, my current lifestyle does not allow the same in-depth golf time I had while married to David, but it does afford me the opportunity to learn a little more about a sport I love.

So, here is a toast to being students - and making choices.
May you find out what you want to spend your time on - and continue to learn.
We are all a student of something :)
Love you,

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Steady Steps

Getting ready to go outside and play with a bubble machine, I ran after the one year old to be sure he was safe, scooped him up and returned to his excited sister.
"Grandma! I already made bubbles!"
"Oh my - where?" I asked.
"In the house." she exclaimed.
"Where in the house?" I nervously asked, as I had left her in a room with carpeting and hardwood floors. The carpet could handle it, but bubbles on hardwood??

She ran to show me, as I set her brother down gently on the carpeting.
It was then that it happened. As I wiped up some of the slippery liquid, I could see, out of the corner of my eye, her bare-footed brother step onto another area of the hardwood floor. With feet sliding under his weight, a surprise look took over his face. Immediately, the second foot found a small pool of the slippery liquid. With both feet moving uncontrolled, he kept his balance. A remarkable feat for someone who just began walking a few months ago.
He allowed me to wipe off his feet and steady his walk, as all three of us chuckled about the slippery floor.

It can happen so quickly. We think we are on solid flooring and - yikes! Our feet slip.

So, how did he keep his balance?
How do we?
I remember the look of surprise on his face, but not a look of fear.
Therein lies the difference.

When your feet slip - be surprised, but don't fear. God is watching and ready to make steady your steps.
And, He is cheering you on when you keep your balance :)

Isaiah 41:13
"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you."

Have a blessed day,

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Extending the moment

A friend, Michelle, who knows of a photography artist, presented me with artwork of a small wave splashing on the shore. It reminds me of walking along the ocean. It extends the moment of time when your feet touch the brisk ocean water for the first time in your walk along the sand. The water happily splashes across your toes and gently sprinkles your leg. Taking a photo of a photo is not always advisable, but I had to try to share it. Why? Because I pray you have moments extended that are joyful to you - playful and full of life - like my moments walking the ocean have been. And, I pray that you get to relive some of those moments - whether in a photo or in person - just for the sake of enjoying life. God bless you.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

May 1st

Yes, it was a wonderful May 1st. In spite of my focus.
I think I may need a new way of celebrating this day. Four years ago, it was David's last full day and at the end of it, he said "I don't want another day like this." It was a most difficult day for him - and God was good to take him home the next day as his body had failed to support his spirit.
As I remember the anniversary of that day, I choose to focus on how good God was to take him home. And, how happy he is right now. Free from his failed body - enjoying eternity in a new, perfected body. I am so grateful.
Many of us celebrate anniversary's in unique ways and I have thought a lot about how I want to celebrate May 1st in the future.
David always said that if you had problems, take a walk along the ocean and they would be solved. I thought it was due to the "hugeness" of God there - but someone said to me this week that when you walk along the ocean, you actually fill your blood with more oxygen due to inhaling the salt water. The salt in the air you breathe does something good for you and you think more clearly.
Maybe David knew more than I think he knew about a walk along the ocean.
I am thinking of plans for next May 1st - to be walking along the ocean - Lord willing.
May God bless you as you refocus on any anniversary that is difficult for you.
And, may the Lord allow you time to walk along the ocean - sometime - to solve your problems.
God bless you :)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Moving On

We have heard it many times - forgetting the past and moving on - it is even Biblical. I believe the verse is Philippians 3:13 "forgetting the past but looking forward to what lies ahead".
I am not sure, but, for me, the past I want to forget I do forget once I've confessed them - those things that I did not do right and are now forgiven.
The good of the past, I really don't want to forget - in fact, I want to bring it with me to what lies ahead - hopefully learning something that will benefit the future.
Like love - I never want to forget the love I have received - and will bring that love into the future to love others as I have been loved.
The next verse reads "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
Moving on - pressing toward - looking forward -
It all means taking a step in the right direction - and it is active - we do need to put our "oomph" (I checked - it is a word:) into it!
God bless each of us to take the next step forward - in the right direction - toward the prize - a high calling of Our Lord, Christ Jesus.
Enjoy stepping toward His calling on your life :)

Friday, April 6, 2012

Good Friday

They call it Good Friday - yet, reliving what Jesus went through for my sin feels anything but good. I understand that the good is describing what He accomplished for us - and that is indescribably good! But, I am always more at peace later in the day - when I know his suffering would be over.
Thank you, Jesus, for all you went through to free us from sin - to grant us a place in heaven with you forever - to give us peace in our lives as we walk this earth.
Gratitude - eternally, I will sing praise and give thanksgiving to Our Lord for loving us so much that He gave His only Son.
What an awesome God we serve. What amazing love.
Looking forward to celebrating Jesus' Resurrection - and, like Mary in the garden on Easter morning, may we continue to search for more of Him - with gratitude :)
For Jesus' Glory, Mary

Sunday, March 25, 2012

A Walking Stick

After watching a movie called The Way, I thought of walking sticks. So, beginning a walk today, I searched for something to use - could I take the shovel off of the end of it's stick and use that? No - screwed on tight. (Thank goodness for when I shovel!)
Looking further, I saw an old, wooden head golf club. It was the last one I had from Adolph. Adolph was my third Dad - Mom's third husband. I only knew him to be sweet and gentle - a really gentle man.
He loved sports, and even though he was almost 80 when we began spending time on a golf course together, we would play 9 holes slowly and enjoy it. I can still hear him on the tee box saying "See all that beautiful green, Mary?" "Yes", I would reply. "And, I can't hit any of it!" he would playfully joke.
The golf club, now my walking stick, reminded me of the round when we were standing with the entire fairway between us on the first hole. My drive had gone right and his had gone left. He stood over his and swung hard. With his hand over his eyes, he struggled to find the flight of his ball in the air. Searching, searching. I waited. He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. I pointed downward. Unfortunately, that swing had never made contact. The ball was laying exactly where it had been. He looked down, shrugged his shoulders, swung again and laughed.
So, as I took his golf club for a walk today (it made a pretty good walking stick), I was reminded of a gentle man and a great sport.
Adolph may be celebrating an amazing round of golf in heaven right now. I like to think he is - and maybe David is helping him search for his ball :)
God bless any round you get to play - and who you get to play it with.
For Jesus' Glory.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Times Change

With their busy lives once they go to school, time together changes with grandchildren.
School is out for Spring Break - time for a sleepover.
Fun with crafts, card games and a volleyball.
But, it got late fast.
So, as he was struggling to fall asleep - could it have been a few cookies giving him too much energy?? - his sister ran through the routine. After reading stories and saying prayers, she sang to him - she gently rubbed his arm - she softly reminded him that it was time to close his eyes and stop talking. Grandma put on soft music.
He asked that Grandma rub his back as his sister rubbed his arm.
Nothing worked.
Grandma had a final thought and picked him up -
"I remember what used to put you to sleep", she gently suggested, as she stood up with him, laid his head on her shoulder and rocked back and forth.
The rocking lasted for a short time - and a little voice was heard - the same little voice that used to be silenced by her rocking - but now, out came a gentle reminder that times had changed.
"Put me down, Buster."
It was not said loudly - just playfully - as he arched his back in super hero style.
He repeated it again - "Put me down, Buster."
And, as his sister and Grandma exchanged glances, they broke into laughter - Not an easy way to get anyone to sleep!
But, a fun way to spend an evening.
So, as she put him down, she realized times had changed. Children had grown up and had different ways of falling asleep than rocking in her arms.
And, then, there was the reminder of laughter.
A good sound in any home.
And, it certainly made for a good night.

Monday, March 12, 2012


Having difficulty falling asleep last night. So much on my mind - some good and some sad - and trying to take the thoughts captive.
Since I was awake, I lay in bed with the lights off and played the card game of hearts on my I-phone. Then I decided to try to sleep and turned off the game, I laid my phone on the side table and, with my eyes opened, stared at the ceiling. The light of the phone went off and the room was dark.
Suddenly, the light went back on.
"Who would call me - or text me - at this hour?" I thought, as I reached for it.
There was no call or text coming in, but the phone was lit up by the IPOD app. I looked at it again and it was ready to play a song - I had pushed nothing to get to the song, but did push the triangle to play the illuminated song.
"Crown Him With Many Crowns" played softly from my I-phone.
I cried as I remembered how amazing and big Our God is - and how I need to bow at His feet.
"What crown was I trying to wear by fretting?"
I put down the phone when it finished and lay in the dark for a while.
"Where did that song come from?" I wondered.
So, I searched on the IPOD app - and could only find it by pushing several buttons like "songs" and then searching under the "C's" for the title.
Since it was not easy to find, I wondered how it showed up so clearly and quickly a half hour ago.
Then, I decided - it was a gift from a messenger of God. It comforted me and put things in perspective so I could sleep. I pray it blesses you if you can't sleep.

Crown Him with many crowns, the Lamb upon His throne.
Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee,
And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Lost and Found

It was a surprise to look at my ring finger and notice no center diamond! The rest of the ring was intact, but the prongs that held the center stone were standing straight up in the air - empty in their presentation.
I vacuumed the entire home - checking the bag for any sign of a small shiny object - to no avail.
Besides carefully vacuuming, I wiped all of the rest of the floors on my hands and knees - searching for any sign of this precious stone - again - to no avail.
My ring remained empty - showcasing the loss of a precious sentimental diamond.
Two weeks later, on an average morning, I hurriedly stepped toward the refrigerator and - WAIT - I felt something through my sock as I stepped. STOP!
I did.
As I turned around and bent down to pick up whatever crumb I had missed in my cleaning attempt the day before, I gasped.
Then, I gently picked up my diamond and watched it, as it rolled around in my hand - playfully glistening as the kitchen light reflected some of its glory.
How did it turn up weeks after my search - in the middle of a floor that I had wiped many times searching for it?
Only by the grace of God. He gave me back my precious stone and it remained a symbol of my engagement and marriage for many more years.
I am so grateful that God alone knows where everything is - and how precious it is to us - even when it seems lost.
Enjoy your lost and found - enjoy Our Lord - the giver of all good gifts. :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

A Kiss

I was walking down a long hallway with a friend. The hallway was well lit - it had a lot of windows and was washed in light.
I passed three gentlemen, heads bowed together in prayer. After passing them, I realized that one of them was David. I stopped as my friend continued down the hallway. I turned around and waited. The prayer finished and one of the men walked to the left as the second man walked to the right and I approached David. As I put my arms around his neck for a hug, he simply smiled as his arms embraced me. And then, we kissed.
It was not a long kiss, but very familiar.
"I remember that kiss" I said as I gently smiled. A twinkle lingered in his eyes.
And, suddenly, the dream was over and I awoke.
But, it was long enough. Long enough to remind me of an amazing, tender, whimsical man's love - and to appreciate enjoying him, even if only in a dream.
Enjoy your dreams :)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Fun For You!

So, what is it? What is it that makes your spirit soar - your insides smile while your outside beams?
I call it fun. And, I have found a key to fun in my life. Dancing. Moving to music - usually in a quick beat - mouthing words to a song and jumping around on the floor in some sort of rythym - FUN.
Now, that may not be fun for you. You may like another form of smiles - but I just want to encourage you to have fun.
When I was growing up, expressions like "act your age" stymied me - caused me to think before enjoying myself - "Was what I was about to participate in age appropriate?"
Cartwheels and handstands were given over to an appropriate age -
But, not any more. Now, I don't know if I can still do a cartwheel or handstand very well - but I may try as soon as the green grass is soft for a landing.
For today, though, I do know that when I dance, my spiritual, physical, mental and emotional being receives a burst of joy.
So, I will continue because I think that means God created me that way.
Here is a toast to you - and whatever you enjoy - may you participate in it fully and may your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual being receive bursts of joy :)
Have a blessed day!

Monday, February 20, 2012


I love to tell stories. How much fun is it to enjoy a good story with a happy ending?
Now, the Bible is so full of so many stories, my favorite being about Our Lord and Savior paying the price for us to be righteous before His and Our Father. Sweet!
But, I learned a new one today.
Now, I have read the Bible a lot and it never ceases to amaze me. How can I read a verse and learn something new - when I know I have read it before?
Boaz is a sweet character in the Bible - he married Ruth - who the book of Ruth is named after. I have always loved the book of Ruth and would sometimes call David "Boaz" :)
Boaz married Ruth and they were used by God in the lineage of Jesus Christ.
Today, I found out who Boaz' Mom was - and to think that she was a harlot before being spared by Joshua and then marrying an Israelite, Salmon.
WOW - amazing how God put that together.
Joshua sent spies to Jericho, (before the walls fell down) and Hagar, the harlot, hid the spies from her townspeople. They promised her refuge when the city fell - gave it to her and she remained alive and well - along with all members of her family - when everyone else in Jericho lost their lives.
So, before a harlot - then, redeemed by God's people - and given a place in history of importance (see the first chapter of Matthew).
I am so grateful that no matter what our past involved, once we come to The LORD, He can make something beautiful out of our lives.
Now, you Bible scholars, feel free to correct me - but I do like what I think I learned :)
Enjoy your reading!!

Friday, February 10, 2012


Have you ever cried tears of gratitude? What a wonderful gift God has given us in life - and the wonderful people we are able to celebrate it with.
I am so grateful that God chose this century for me to live - so grateful for the lives He has poured into my life - people I call family, friends, neighbors, teachers, etc.
So grateful.
Sometimes, I look at a picture of some people in my life and cry - just cry with tears of gratitude that I get to be associated with the people in the photo.
May we all enjoy who we spend time with each day - through relationships on the phone, in person, in writing or in memory - and remember that they are a gift from God.
What an amazing God we serve.
May Jesus' gift of life be appreciated :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


Well, we can just go about our day and - wham - there it is - a memory that takes us someplace else. Now, I was in a good place - even though I made mistakes today, I was able to live with them and believe God was teaching me something that I would eventually learn.
Then, deciding to hang pictures on a different wall - there it is. A wedding photograph. Now, there are very sweet photos I am blessed to own. Very Sweet. I am grateful for every photograph.
But, why, when I focused on my wedding photograph from 1995 - why did the thought enter my mind to take a hammer and break the glass?
Where do those type of thoughts come from?
Wow - taking every thought captive - yes, that is what The Bible asks us to do - and make it obedient to Jesus Christ -
Now, I know that breaking the glass is not obedient to Jesus Christ.
So, as I try to hang the picture, I thank God that I ever got the chance to spend time with this wonderful man that I was married to - and I softly place the picture on its nail with a gentle hand.
Taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Jesus Christ.
A much sweeter life :)

Monday, February 6, 2012


I've decided that we are each on a mission. Kind of like Missionaries from God - sent to earth - with His desire to have a relationship with us while we carry it out.
So, we go about our days - and forget we are on a mission.
At least I do. I start to think about what I think my life should be like.
My focus should be: "What would God want me to do today? With what He has given me - my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state - how can I use them best to honor Him? Make Him glad He sent me on this mission?"
It has finally dawned on me that David completed his mission. Now, I want everyone's mission to be 80 or so years long. I think God loves that we love life. :)
But, I have no idea what their mission is on earth - only God knows.
In Psalm 139, it says that "every day ordained for me was written in your book before one of them came to be." He orchestrated the mission.

Now, we can do things in the hopes of living each day as well as we can - like taking care of our bodies by eating healthy and doing exercise - taking care of our minds by learning - taking care of our spirits by praying, studying the Bible, and relating to others. I do believe that God encourages us to take care of ourselves so we can serve Him better during our mission. And, we do have an enemy that tries to thwart God's purposes for our mission.
But, as I do my part in enjoying the gift of life, I also recognize that my mission is simply to serve an Amazing God that chose me to be His so He could walk with me through my mission - and make it more joy-filled - because He defeated the enemy already.
So, thank you Lord.
Thank you for my mission on earth - and for the mission of all those that I get to share life with - what a wonderful group of people to know and love.
We are wonderfully made -
Enjoy the way God made you and your mission :)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

God Eternal

I am trying to wrap a part of my brain around a bit of A.W. Tozer. For me, he is one of those writers that, when I first begin to read, I think "Better slow down with this" and take what he knows very slowly - kind of like chewing on a really tender piece of "pink in the middle" filet mignon.
This is what I was trying to digest:
"The mind looks backward in time till the dim past vanishes then turns and looks into the future till thought and imagination collapse from exhaustion; and God is at both points, unaffected by either."
It is from a chapter trying to shed more light on the thought of the Eternity of God.
It comforted me.
To think that the God who loves me knows the past and the future and is "unaffected" means, to me, that His Love covers it. If His love covers it, what concerns do I really have? Really? Do I have any?
The chapter goes on to say "He sees the end and the beginning in one view." And, later on I quote "For NOW and THEN coincide in the circle of the wall of Paradise."
Now, that says it all!
Okay - so as my mind spins, trying to focus on what I can grasp of this - I know this much -
God knows each day of my life - and yours - and He promises He will never leave nor forsake us!
It seems to me to be a little bit like taking someone to a movie I have already seen - and, if they get concerned during a scene, I gently whisper in their ear "It is okay. I know how it turns out - don't be concerned."
Wow, can I sleep in peace. He has already seen the movie.
Have a blessed night's sleep.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Spirit and soul?

A new friend gave me a big book several summers ago. I was reminded of it this week and pulled it out. This is a book of blessings for our spirit.

"The spirit and soul are portions of our being that we cannot see. Spirit is the element in man which gives him the ability to think of God. It is man's vertical window, while soul is man's horizontal window, making him conscious of his environment."
"Being filled with the Spirit means being so entirely occupied and controlled with God's Spirit that there is no room for me."

Well, as I work through some of these blessings, I do believe they will bless my life so I wanted to share part of one with your spirit today.

"You are one of God's masterpieces. God delights in how He made you. You have wise and gracious words on your lips that come from the wellspring of a righteous heart. Be blessed to live in the beauty of being well-pleasing to your Father. God is investing in you, caring for you, nurturing you, and blessing you, so that you can be a treasure and a blessing to the world. Be blessed with becoming everything He has called you to be and being all He has designed you to become in a way that makes all of heaven rejoice."

I am rejoicing with heaven over you :)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Gen. 1:3

After a great discussion with my intelligent daughter-in-law yesterday, a friend mentioned today that she believes in the Bible and her husband believes in evolution.
I was able to quote "is it possible for both to exist instead of either or?"
When the Lord said in Gen. 1:3 "Let there be light" - BANG - I am sure there was a huge sound as the light broke through the darkness.
And evolution, well, aren't we continually evolving? Physically and mentally we change daily - evolving into new creations?
What an amazing God we serve. He is big enough to be all inclusive.
I also mentioned that a "day" of time in His schedule may be a million years, for all we know. We are bound by a 24 hour day, He has never been bound by time.
Oh - what fun!
Enjoy how Our Creator creates and, whether it was noisy or not - I believe we can give Him credit for creating any way - and in any amount of time - He wanted to :)
God bless you!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

1 Timothy 6:6

Okay - I have had the Bible being read aloud on CD for years. This week, I decided to put in one of the CD's because I am in two groups studying Hebrews. I thought I would listen to it being read as I cleaned the house. It has worked well more than once this week and given me some familiarity with the first few chapters.
So, early this morning, I decided to play the CD from the start, which is 1 Timothy - Hebrews starts on the 15th chapter on the CD. I thought it would be nice to eventually get to Hebrews, but I would enjoy more of this particular part of the Bible.
As I walked around getting ready for church, a passage caught my attention as I heard it read aloud "Now godliness with contentment is great gain." It caught my attention, because I don't think I was content this morning.
So, I researched where it was in the Bible, according to the chapters being read aloud and found it in 1 Timothy 6:6. I sat with it a while, trying to let it soak in.
Can I really be content and thus have "great gain" in my life?
Hurrying off to church, I put contentment in the back of my mind.
The very first Scripture verse today's speaker put on the screen was 1 Timothy 6:6 - we were even asked to read it aloud before he taught us about surrender and contentment.
Is the Lord always that clear?
I simply know He wants me spending some time working on contentment.
Enjoy His work in your life today.
Love you! Me

Monday, January 9, 2012

Praise Blessing!

Experiencing a pretty normal morning at church and the worship continued. Soon, I was not focusing on the song - my mind was simply filled with praise.
My eyes were closed and I was receiving the beauty of the song to Our Creator when it happened. My ears picked up the sound of a man singing praise to His Lord. His voice may have hit every note perfectly, I don't know, because the melody or tone didn't matter - but his voice sounded angelic to me. It quickly took over my unconscious praise and tears began to slowly work their way down my cheeks.
It was easy to spend time receiving the beauty of his voice. I didn't want the song to end.
I quickly realized that the last time I enjoyed a man worshiping near me was 4 years ago.
David's voice singing praise to Our Lord was the sweetest sound to my ears and I cherish the memory.
May God bless each of us when we worship. We may never know who receives a blessing by our praise.
For Jesus' Glory, Mary

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Savior ???

Whenever I believe something will help myself or someone I love, I get all excited. In fact, I don't even need to know someone to get excited when they get helped :)
In my humanness, I can be a little "pushy" with my beliefs - thinking I am helping.
So, when I do that, I ask you - where is the Savior? Did I believe it was me?
In my heart, I need to lay flat on my back and ask the Savior, Jesus Christ, to pick up the pieces and pain of my life - and the pieces and pain of the lives of the people I love - and then trust Him to be THE Savior.
So, today, I say, "I trust you, Lord" and expect Him to work in the lives of those I love. Now, waiting to hear they are doing better is also challenging.
See, when we trust Him to do it, we need to sit back and wait.
I don't wait well. I believe that is connected to my belief that "I need to do something".
Truth - we have a Savior - and He is enough. He does not need my help.
And, He can save in ways I cannot imagine - why does my little mind think I have answers?
Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that we have ONE SAVIOR - and it is not me :)
Have a blessed day - and may God give you all you need to say "I trust You, Lord" and enjoy His gift of salvation today - in any area you need a Savior.
For Jesus' Glory,