Monday, July 27, 2009

Another Day?

Is there anything like another day? Another chance to enjoy life - another opportunity to experience 24 hours of wonder? Yes, also, another day remembering joy that can't be anymore - smiles and eyes that pull at your memory with sparkle yet fade into the past.
I'm trying to enjoy golf - I think the year of trying to stay in this sport without my coach has been kind of numb and the reality of it is sinking in - I'm not good, but with David's coaching, I played well. As I gently take the club head back in my swing, I hear his voice saying "lower, longer, hon - like sweeping with a broom - keep the broom on the floor longer before lifting it". Pain - there it is again - I won't golf with him until we are in heaven together. Tears - you would think I would have dried up the well by now - but here they are again.
This is hard - I'm determined to enjoy life - determined to believe and hope for a bright future because Jesus and David live - determined -
So, why can emotions be so powerful and steal my joy? How can it become so difficult to golf with joy sometimes - or enjoy a meal without thinking of what he would be eating or ordering? How do I continue to go on without him next to me in the evening? One day at a time - Sometimes, one hour at a time -
So, this posting is kind of a lament - and I'm truly hoping it can be received as a way of grieving that is necessary - I think I need to go through this pain - these days of missing him so strongly - in order to get to the other side of this.
I'm not sure what the other side looks like for anyone else, but the other side for me is gratefulness - and I am swimming in it most days. Swimming - counting my blessings - focusing on all I had with this wonderful man - and thanking God for each and every minute I got to have him in my life.
Have a blessed, grateful kind of hour :)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I beleive the best wisdom comes from Scripture, but God can use anyone, or anything, to speak wisdom to us, if we have ears to hear.
Visiting with her in the nursing home, she told me she was "in her 90's" as we sat on the bench and shared some time together in the garden near the little waterfall. "My husband passed around 6 years ago," she said. "We had been married many, many years." And, then it hit me. The pearl of wisdom I took from our conversation: "I try to enjoy every day and I miss him every day." And, then she grinned.
Simple really. But, profound for me. My motto. I try to enjoy every day and I miss him every day. And, I trust that will be the story of my life until I see him again - face to face in heaven.
In the meantime, may you enjoy every day - by God's grace and favor.
For Jesus' Glory, Mary