Another Day?

Is there anything like another day? Another chance to enjoy life - another opportunity to experience 24 hours of wonder? Yes, also, another day remembering joy that can't be anymore - smiles and eyes that pull at your memory with sparkle yet fade into the past.
I'm trying to enjoy golf - I think the year of trying to stay in this sport without my coach has been kind of numb and the reality of it is sinking in - I'm not good, but with David's coaching, I played well. As I gently take the club head back in my swing, I hear his voice saying "lower, longer, hon - like sweeping with a broom - keep the broom on the floor longer before lifting it". Pain - there it is again - I won't golf with him until we are in heaven together. Tears - you would think I would have dried up the well by now - but here they are again.
This is hard - I'm determined to enjoy life - determined to believe and hope for a bright future because Jesus and David live - determined -
So, why can emotions be so powerful and steal my joy? How can it become so difficult to golf with joy sometimes - or enjoy a meal without thinking of what he would be eating or ordering? How do I continue to go on without him next to me in the evening? One day at a time - Sometimes, one hour at a time -
So, this posting is kind of a lament - and I'm truly hoping it can be received as a way of grieving that is necessary - I think I need to go through this pain - these days of missing him so strongly - in order to get to the other side of this.
I'm not sure what the other side looks like for anyone else, but the other side for me is gratefulness - and I am swimming in it most days. Swimming - counting my blessings - focusing on all I had with this wonderful man - and thanking God for each and every minute I got to have him in my life.
Have a blessed, grateful kind of hour :)
Mary