Thursday, April 9, 2009

This is hard

As I walk through a beautiful morning, I want to run again. Run where? Just run. Keeping busy is definitely a way of handling emotional pain. I choose to sit down, close the door and weep as I look at pictures. It is a choice I'm making because I simply need to go through this instead of running from it.
So there it is - this is hard.
I'm not writing for sympathy - the Lord knows I don't want to spend too much time thinking about myself - because our lives are about honoring Jesus, not us.
So, I'm writing just to acknowledge the Truth. This is hard.
Doable, yes, but difficult.
I guess, eventually, it will strengthen me - or maybe just facing it strengthens me -we'll see! For right now, I'm facing the pain involved in missing David.
I'm still focused on how much God loves him and I - and I'm grateful for even getting to walk this earth as his friend and wife - so grateful that I'm missing his presence.
Love,
Mary

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Know what, I miss him too. I see people on the street who resemble him, sometimes it is from the back of the head, or the car he drove, or the golfers on the course,and I just remember when life was different. I think back on this time last year and remember how I hoped the outcome would be different. How I hoped it was residual fluid from the cold he had recovered from. I remember you, your tenacity to do this "thing" well and support David in every possible way. You clung to your Savior, and He held you tight. Thanks for doing the hard stuff and doing it with the only one who can fully understand the pain-Jesus.

Love you,
Michelle