Drinking In A Memory

Drinking in the memory – standing in Stienmart in Florida – looking around slowly at the ladies clothes – there it is again – David over there – looking at clothes for me. “Hon, try this.” As common as the sun greeting us each morning over the ocean, his shopping - helping me find outfits - was a usual occurrence in Florida. Slowly walking around the racks, drinking in the smell, closing my eyes to feel the floor below – the same floor he walked with me so many times – steadying myself as the tears begin to flow – enjoying the sweet aroma of this memory.
Sue and I visited 412 – the unit David and I revamped and lived in for over 6 years. We purchased it with pink carpeting and pink grass cloth wallpaper. We rented wallpaper steamers and worked hard to make it beautiful. Then, we hired Claude who tiled the entire unit and took off the popcorn ceiling. We spent a lot of time picking out the right furniture and David spent every evening, after dinner, on the porch watching the ocean and stars. He would slowly step back in, when he was ready for bed, having become inebriated on ocean breezes and moonlight.
When Sue and I saw it, the new owner had changed the unit so much that I didn’t shed a tear. I was expecting to cry out of a desire to be back in the unit with David and all I felt was that David and our unit was gone. It was actually easier to see it changed.
Sometimes, I heal through memories - walking through them. Sometimes I heal by going forward and seeing things changed. Either way, healing is a process for which I am eternally grateful. I begin to accept that many wonderful things I enjoyed with David may not be able to take place again this side of heaven, but will, by the grace of God, still continue to strengthen the love in my heart for him.
May God give you His peace and love with your memories.
Love,
Mary