Tonight, I went with Ellen to her church because she wanted to see a special singer. I was convicted, during the message, that I was harboring some anger. It would show itself at different times. Sometimes, I had a strong desire to run - nowhere in particular, just run - run away from reality, I guess. Other times, it showed itself by a desire to throw something - wanting to break something. Finally, the anger showed itself in a desire to say some not nice words.
I remember the day I invited the anger in. David and I had just found out his cancer was in his brain and I left to get him some medication. I ran into Dave and Sara in our driveway. They are wonderful friends who listened to me say some frustrated garbage - appropriate, maybe, yet not what I would have liked to have come out of my mouth. They, then, visited Dave while I went to pick up the prescription.
Well, those not nice words were trying to exit my mouth this week, also. I knew they were connected to my anger at what happened to my wonderful husband.
But, after talking to God in prayer during and after the service tonight, I believe I am healed from this anger. I am so grateful. I cannot always be the woman I desire to be, but, now that this anger is gone, I think that Christ has a better chance of operating through my mouth. And, I have a better chance of living in peace, now that the anger produced desires to run and/or throw things is gone :)
May you, and those you love, be blessed with less anger in your lives.
Much love, Mary
1 comment:
It has been a little while since I checked your blog. Thanks for being so transparent. Your example challenges me to do the same.
Thanks!
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